10. Wild Wild West (1999)
This film could possibly be the worth on this list. I wasn't expecting a great film but was left feeling as if the people at the theatre actually mugged me for my ticket price. This is the worst piece of shit Will Smith has ever done. (Sorry for those of you who hated 7 pounds, but this movie takes the cake) The film was given credibility because of Kevin Kline and then taken away that much faster by his horribly forced dialogue. Salma Hayek was in it to wear tight outfits revealing her great rack and nothing much else. I can't say enough bad things about this movie. I won't even call it a film because that would be giving it too much credit.
9. Shrek 3 (2007)
I could put a picture of that green ogre above this description but i'll save you the trouble. This film was a big let down from the two previous installments that left most of us laughing. I didn't care to see Shrek and the princess have children. The adult factor of the previous two are what made me enjoy them the most. This was clearly an attempt to make more money and $300 million later, I guess they did their job.
8. Pearl Harbor (2001)
Pearl Harbor was a cheap attempt to re-create "Titanic" and I'm sure James Cameron was laughing his ass off watching this. Basically substitute Kate Winslet for Kate Beckinsale as the female torn between two men. Billy Zane and Leo subbed out for Ben Affleck and Josh Hartnett. Switch out an American tragedy for another one. Trade 3 hours for 2 hours and 52 minutes. Add Cuba Gooding Jr., shake well and you have Pearl Harbor. Everyone is waiting for the Japanese to drop bombs but unlike the story or Kate and Jack, we don't care about the girl in this movie. She just seems kind of slutty. Ben Afflecks award-winning performance (Razzie that is) and you have a horrible snore-fest that makes you wish for something better.
7. Matrix Reloaded (2003)
Keanu. Keanu. Keanu. I waited in line for this piece of shit. We need to talk. Soon!
6. Jurassic Park III
Jurassic Park III was awful. One person gets killed and it happens so early in the film, that we never get to know his name. The rest of the film is a series of injuries applied by dinosaurs running into these people. New Yorker's bump into people, dinosaurs would be eating these stupid assholes. William H. Macy must of done this for the money. The worst part about this film is that Alexander Payne wrote the screenplay. That's right America, Alexander (Election, Sideways) Payne. This film killed the franchise. Way to ruin another great Spielberg franchise movie studios (Jaws 3-d)
5. Planet of The Apes (2001)
This sucked more than I can explain by talking anymore about it. Mark Whalberg has done great things, (Departed, Boogie NIghts) but this goes along with the other ones. (The Happening, Max Payne) You're better than this Mark! This is one of those movies that should have been left on VHS after the transfer. I don't even think they can give this away if you buy a Blue-ray disc player.
4. Day After Tomorrow (2004)
Maybe the coolest trailer and poster but this script was awful. I love the message about going green but the film sucked. Dennis Quaid somehow accepted playing a scientist that is almost killed 42 times in a Tidal Wave/Avalanch/Tornado. I don't really know how all this shit happens at once but I know it looked really cool for 6 minutes. The rest of the 2 hours and 30 minutes unfortunately wasn't as cool to watch. Thanks Rolland (10,000 B.C/Gozilla) Emmerich.
3. Indiana Jones and Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)
This movie shouldn't have been made. It was talked about for basically my entire life as in development and that Speilber/Ford were waiting for the right script. Was this it? This is what you were waiting for. Because I love Spielberg this movie couldn't take the top of the list. I liked all the actors, ( Blanchett, Shia and Ford) but nothing could save this film. Not flying monkeys or alien plot lines. A refrigerator saving a 60 year-old man from a nuclear bomb? C'mon!
2. Spiderman 3 (2007)
This movie is very disappointing because of how great the first two were. The hairstyle of Tobey Maguire's alter ego was ridiculous. Two possibly great villains (Sandman/Venom) characters were wasted because of too much bullshit with Tobey's new hair cut. This film came out during the summer of three-quels (2007) and was definitely the worst. I hope Spiderman 4 (2011) can redeem what this film did. I hope so. Remember your own words Sam Raimi, "With great power, comes great responsibility."
1. Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace (1999)
Star Wars Episode 1: The Scrapping or Barrel is a more fitting title for this pile of garbage. First of all making people wait almost 20 years for a new chapter in quite possibly the greatest sci-fi series in history , is enough reason to be mad. Then you give us a 45 minute pod-race that doesn't have anything to do with the outcome of the film. Darth Maul was one of the coolest characters in the film and was of course killed off before we knew anything about him. I understand that they had to introduce Anakin Skywalker but did the film have to revolve around him. The cool thing about the first 3 films were the great characters and fights. This film had one big fight that ended of the lives of the two best new characters. Way to think ahead. You know you have two more movies after this piece of shit, right? I unfortunately saw the next two but wasn't ever as disappointed as much because I waited in line 9 hours to see this. Way to go George Lucas. Way to go.
If you feel like I missed something, please feel free to write me an email or comment below.
